Single and married women have many things in common, yet I think both may have a false view of each other’s life, thinking one has it easier than the other. Singles may be tempted to think that married women have it easier because they have someone to help them “do life” with, help with the bills, cuddle up with at night, have date nights, and never have to be alone. Married women may think singles have it easier because they don’t have a spouse to take care of, “check with” when making decisions, are free to come and go, travel the world without hesitation, and don’t have to submit(dirty word for some) to anyone.
If we’re not careful, we can start to become envious, jealous, and start to develop a dislike for each other. We can begin to stir up discontentment in our hearts, and find ourselves dissatisfied with the life that God has blessed us with.
Instead of dwelling on what we don’t have in common, I want to focus our attention on those things we mutually share. The goal is for us to have a biblical perspective, so that we can prayerfully start relating to one another more compassionately, graciously, and lovingly.Five things married and single women have in common Click To Tweet
Here are five things single and married women have in common.
#1- Struggle to be pure and holy.
Single women may think that marriage will solve all their sexual desires. Yet, sadly there are many marriages who suffer in the area of sexual fulfillment. Singles and married are both bombarded with and have to fight against worldly messages about sexuality. Pornography and lust are no respecters of relationship status, they affect both married and single women.
“How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word” Psalms 119:9
“but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, “YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY” 1 Peter 1:15-16
Married women have to remain pure for their husband, but more importantly for their Savior. Likewise, singles have to be pure for their husband-to-be (if marriage is in God’s plan) and the Savior. Both must constantly fill themselves up with the Word, guard their heart and mind, and fight for purity and holiness. Both must establish boundaries in their lives to safeguard themselves from falling into sexual immorality and emotional attachments with the opposite sex.
#2- Struggle with contentment.
Discontentment can creep into the hearts of both married and single women. Both can start desiring a life other than the one that God has given them. Both can find themselves secretly wanting to be with someone that God has given to someone else; another woman’s husband, job, car, house, etc. If left unchecked, our emotions, feelings, will rob us of our joy because we are so focused on what someone else has.
“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am” Philippians 4:11
Our goal as Christian women is to live a life of gratitude and thanksgiving for all things the Lord has given us. Both married and singles must be intentional about cultivating a heart of contentment. Both have to refrain from grumbling and complaining about what they do not have. Both have to “rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say rejoice” Philippians 4:4.
#3- Struggle with temptation and sin.
Temptation haunts every Christian. Both married and singles must be cautious, alert, and vigilant to be able to fight temptation. There is a constant battle between the flesh and spirit.
“Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak”Matthew 26:41
It’s imperative that we stay prayed up and proactive by establishing boundaries in our lives. We must be intentional about avoiding places, people and things that may cause us to stumble. Neither of us can afford to over-estimate our strength to withstand temptation.
#4- Struggle with loneliness.
Single women may think that once they get married, they will never experience loneliness. However, this is simply not true. As a wife of 14 years, I can attest that marriage does not solve loneliness. You can be married and still be lonely.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied” Matthew 5:6
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” Psalms 147:3
“Incline Your ear, O Lord, and answer me; For I am afflicted and needy” Psalms 86:1
Loneliness is an emotion that all people deal with, no matter their relationship status. The solution to loneliness is the Word and Jesus.
#5- Seeking to please and glorify God with our lives.
Every true Christian wants to live a life that is well-pleasing to the Lord. Regardless if we are married or single, the struggle to not love this world and the things in it, is common amongst all believers. We all must seek to do God’s will, to obey His Word, and to live a God-honoring life.
“I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do.” John 17:4
“Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him” 2 Corinthians 5:9
May we unite as sisters in Christ and stir up one another to love and good works.